Just Thoughts

I've recently become obsessed with flowers, plants or rather anything in the Plantae kingdom. I'm also infatuated with the thought of having skinny legs. I'm not sure why, or when this arose but I can't help staring at everyone's legs wherever I go. It's sort of like a catalog when I think about it. I bore too easily and it has been becoming quite the issue. Life is boring..living. Nothing fills me with excitement anymore. Most of my days are anxiety ridden, but when I manage to break away and forget about it for a minute I go through these "THIS IS MY LIFE" trances. They're more strange than anything else. Only because when I was a young girl I imagined my life being something different. I lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling and tell myself over and over that this is my life. The green walls, the 2 dogs, the job and the endless cleaning. This is what my life is. I guess I just thought that when you grow old you just magically find your place in life, and you're happy. The love of your life just slithers out from a rock and sweeps you off of your feet. I wish someone would've slapped me upside the head a little sooner because I feel at a loss now. Not that I hate the way my life is going, I just hate that I didn't know about this sooner. I'm sure I sound quite naive. Ha, I know I sound naive. I guess we all do when we don't want to realize certain things like growing up. All I keep thinking is I want I want I want. Not even noticing that in order to get to where I want to be I have to work hard and think hard. I find it funny though how I pictured my life and never bothered picturing what I have to do in between.