Life Changes

Living at 771 4th avenue has been pleasantly exhilarating as of late. Not sure why- or how it could have ever been possible. I mean, as you must know..being hopeless can get quite tiring and tasteless, fast. I've been watching the sun set for the past hour and I realized something..this is my life. Whether this realization is real or not (because I have these often) it feels good for now. I need to get my head straight once again. I was doing so great the last 2 weeks. What with school and all...now it's back in the clouds and I'm in the same position I was in when i had a self realization that in turn got me out but Im in again-ya see? A vicious cycle is what I got on my hands. And yes I'm well aware "got" isn't proper. Well, whatever. Take that precarious nonsense and SHOVE it. So what if I live an unstable life? Everything I've ever felt in my whole life is based off of TV and movies and stupid romance books. Of lives I could have lived. But I'm tired...I'm so done with being a dreamer..so over it's hard blows and constantly having to weed out the true or false notes. I just want to live for me and not have to think about the future. I want something, in any shape or form to bring me back to the surface. I'm constantly looming in between while everyone I know is moving forward or drastically revolts with introversion. I'm plagued. Truly cursed..I'll believe anything you want me to.