Christmas

Spirit. I wish, no I really want to have some. This is the third straight christmas I will be having without a christmas tree. You have no idea how sad this makes me.. Not only because it's one of my favorite holidays but simply because it was the one time during the whole year that I'd get to see my family and whatever we squabbled about throughout the year would just evaporate. It seems that everyone around me is picking up the spirit and easing in to the cheer it brings but I remain unaffected. I work, I go home. It's meaningless.. I want so badly to see the lights, the snow, to smell the pine of the tree. I want to stay up all night decorating, making gingerbread cookies and having that impatient tick to know what's wrapped up underneath. I want my family and most of all I want love on Christmas.